


Always Had a Feeling

by saltylikecrait



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexual Rey (Star Wars), Asexuality, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Relationship Discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 11:17:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13703367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltylikecrait/pseuds/saltylikecrait
Summary: It was like she had always known, but up until now she never had a word for it. There was nothing wrong with her. There were so many humans like her in the galaxy. Still she needed to tell him.





	Always Had a Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> "Why should Rey have to end up with anyone? She should stay single!"
> 
> I would have only gone with that if the film actually stated that Rey was aromantic. There's not a lot of positive representation in the media for those that fall under the asexual spectrum.
> 
> But asexuals do fall in love, and I would like to see more of that.
> 
> I don't really headcanon Rey as asexual, though there are some other characters in the sequel trilogy that I can see as such. At the same time, I've found a few asexual!Rey fics that I have really liked in the past.

“Finn,” said Rey, after breaking their kiss, “can we stop?”

He took a deep breath and sank back down into the pillows he was lying on. “Yeah."

Not that Rey had been keeping track or anything, but she and Finn had been dating for six months, two weeks, and one day. After Finn worked things out (if not awkwardly) with Rose, he asked Rey out on a date. Well, considering that the Resistance was planet-hopping around the Outer Rim, it wasn’t much of a date. They were on a planet that stayed comfortably warm at night and spent their date stargazing and talking.

It wasn’t a great first date either. They both ended up in tears after she told Finn about how she stupidly mistrusted Kylo Ren, hoping to find some shred of light in him to bring him back. She begged Finn for forgiveness and Finn told her there was nothing to forgive. No, it sounded like he didn’t understand why she ever thought Kylo Ren would ever return to the light, but honestly, Rey didn’t really understand why herself.

Two months later, Rey had invited him to share the bunks in the _Millennium Falcon_ with her. The Resistance was lacking in living space, and so many members ended up sleeping on the small number of transports they had acquired since Crait.

Finn had jumped at the opportunity, not because he was tired of the overcrowded sleeping spaces that the Resistance sometimes secured, but also because he could spend more time with Rey after they finished with their duties for the day.

Of course, sharing a private sleeping space also had other perks.

Their relationship ended up building slowly. Rey and Finn had their own personal issues to deal with. Rey, after all those years on Jakku, found that she had a difficult time expressing her emotions and additional trust issues after Kylo Ren and Luke had further damaged that part of her. Finn, after all those years as a stormtrooper, had to learn that it was okay for him to want things and that he could now freely show affection to others.

They didn’t kiss until about a month and a half in, and it was a shy kiss at that. 

As they grew more comfortable with each other, they explored the physical aspects of relationships. More hand holding, more cuddling, kissing grew more and more heated, then at about four months of being together, Rey invited Finn to sleep beside her on her small bunk. It was cramped, but they found that they’d rather deal with that than sleep apart again.

Rey knew that eventually, Finn would want to move further physically in their relationship. And that was something that had been eating at her for the last two months.

Never one to be anything less than a total gentleman, Finn never pressured her for anything and always asked for her consent. Despite this, Rey was worried that he would grow tired and frustrated with her for always wanting to stop before things went too far. 

But she enjoyed cuddling and kissing, why would sex be any different? And it was with _Finn,_ the first person to genuinely care about her and the first person that ever returned for her. Surely if there was any person she wanted to have sex with, it was Finn.

It confused her immensely.

She didn’t know who to talk to about this. Leia was gone and now Finn was the only person she would allow herself to open up to. She and Rose had gradually established a friendship after months of fixing up the transports together, but it didn’t seem like a good idea to talk to Rose about this issue, considering her relationship with Finn.

So Rey ended up seeking Poe for help. From the first time she met him, Rey genuinely liked Poe and found that he was easy to talk to, but she never talked to him about personal matters except about where to find mental health help (at the moment, that was an issue that had to wait). She wasn’t sure if he would be the right person to talk to either.

It turned out he was exactly the right person to talk to.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Poe assured her after she stuttered out her problems to him. “Some people are just wired that way. There are different words for it; I can find them on the HoloNet, if you want.”

He left her with a datapad full of information and reassurance that Finn would never be upset with her because of this.

The entire afternoon was spent learning all she could about human sexuality and the different terms that humans liked to label themselves as. 

When she came across the term _asexual,_ suddenly everything clicked. It was like she had always known, but until now she never had a word for it. There was nothing wrong with her. There were so many humans like her in the galaxy.

And maybe one day, she would be comfortable to try sex with Finn, but now, she wasn’t ready for that. 

Still, she needed to tell him.

Not sure what she wanted to say in the present moment. Rey instead opted to turn on her side, facing away from Finn. 

He knew that something was wrong right away. It always impressed her with how good Finn was at reading other people. He placed a soft hand on her side, right above her hipbone.

“Rey, what’s wrong?”

Finally, she gathered the courage to tell him. She turned around to look at him. Finn’s eyes were soft as he gazed at her with concern. 

Suddenly, she felt dumb for being afraid to tell him. Even after all her poor choices in the past, Finn had never directed anger at her. Even when the Resistance was in its darkest hour, Finn did whatever he could to make sure that Rey had been safe.

“Do you know what it means to be asexual?” she asked him.

The look in his eyes told her that he understood what she was getting at. Finn wrapped an arm about her and brought her closer. “Rey-" he began. “Is this- Do you think-?”

She nodded, not sure what else to say.

“Sexuality wasn’t something stormtroopers really got to talk about,” Finn commented. “We all knew that everyone was different with who they were attracted to, and it seemed obvious that there were people that just weren't into anyone... I never thought it was a big deal.”

Moving into his arms, Rey cuddled into his chest. “It’s not that I’m not _attracted_ to you, Finn,” she explained. “You’re my cute boyfriend, but I never meet someone for the first time and think like that about them. I knew you were handsome, but until we found each other on Starkiller, I didn’t think of you in the handsome that other people might. Please don’t take that the wrong way!” she added quickly.

“I’m not. I think I get it… Maybe.” He paused. “But Rey, is what we’ve been doing… okay with you?”

“I like this,” she said, leaning over to kiss him on the lips to confirm what she was meaning. “And I enjoy holding hands and cuddling with you and stuff.” She sighed. “It’s not that I don't want to try sex with you. It’s just… well, I’ve never been that interested before. I’d like to try one day, just not soon. And I’m not sure if I will want to have sex as much as you will.”

He wrapped his arms around her. “Rey, if you’re not comfortable yet, we don’t have to do anything, okay? We never do. I’m happy with just being with you. And if cuddling and kissing is all you want to do, I’m happy with that too. I want to be with you.”

“And after we have sex? If we do?” she pressed.

“I’m not going to suddenly turn in some sex-crazed lunatic,” Finn deadpanned. “We’ll get to that hurdle when we do. If we do.”

“We might need to arrange for once a week or something,” Rey mumbled, thinking about what she read about how asexuals coped with dating people with a sex drive. But she might find that she enjoys sex with Finn and might not have an issue with that either. She really didn’t know yet.

Finn hummed. “Would it be cheesy to tell you I love you and nothing will change that?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, but I like to hear that.” She cuddled closer into him. He was warm and his heartbeat was soothing to listen to. Now that her worries had been addressed, it felt like a great weight had been lifted.

They would be OK.


End file.
